Confessions
by LexieBelikova
Summary: Dimitri left Roza after the battle at saint Vladimirs, he believes he did the right thing to keep her safe. Now 4 years later he recieves a box from Lissa and he learns what really became of His beloved Roza...
1. Summary and Dimitris point of view

**Summary**

**After the attack on Saint Vladimirs, the guardians managed To get most of the people out alive and well, including Dimitri and Rose.**

**During the battle Dimitri got hit which distracted Rose enough for her to be badly hurt. So when they returned to the school Dimitri decided it would be best if he took up Tashas offer and left a broken, beaten Rose behind. **

**These are her letters to Dimitri that she never really intended for him to get...**

* * *

**Present day : Dimitris Point of View**

"Dimka! Im heading out to the shop, do you need anything?"

I lifted my eyes from the western Book I was emersed in to see Tasha poking her head around the doorway.

I shook my head before turning my eyes back to the words on the page.

She huffed, muttering something under her breath before walking out the front door, letting it slam lightly behind her.

I reread the same line Ive been trying to read for the last 10 minutes, for some reason my mind just wouldnt focus. Every word, every sentence was just a blur, it would go in one ear and out the other before I had a chance to register what it said.

I glanced up at the large wall clock calendar that sat on the wall, the ticking of the clock a constant reminder of the seconds that go by while Im here and shes...

I ran a hand through my hair, letting it out of the tye that suddenly felt too tight against my neck. I knew exactly why I couldnt concentrate.

My mind was definitely some where else... A whole ocean away... Where _she _was.

A hard pounding on the door stopped my thoughts from wandering into dangerous territory. I sighed, thinking it was Tasha who had probably just forgotten something and couldnt be bothered using her key.

I got up and made my way to the door. "What did you-" I cut myself off when I saw the guardian standing in formal attire on the other side of the door. "Can I help you?" I asked, leaning against the door frame lightly.

"Guardian Dimitri Belikov?" he asked, I nodded in confirmation so he continued, pulling a large box from behind his back. "Princess Dragomir asked me to drop this off to you."

I raised an eyebrow in confusion but took the large wodden box from him, it was dark brown and had a padlock on the front of it, but the lock had been obviously smashed so the lid was easily opened. I thanked the guardian who seemed eager to leave.

I lifted the lid as I closed the door, pulling out the paper sitting on the very top as I went and sat down in the living room.

Dimitri Belikov, was written in large cursive at the top of the page.

_'I know it has been 4 years, and I know from what Rose told me back then that you left for a good reason. But I feel that you need to know...she has been my guardian for the last 4 years and she has changed... Shes never been the same Rose that she was before you left. I found these in her wardrobe, I know she will probably be furious with me for doing this but I had to show you. Dont think that what you read means you have to feel obliged to come back or to even speak to her... I will just feel better if you know whats going on with her, we cant seem to get through to her..._

_Yours sincerely_

_Vasilisa Dragomir.'_

Well that definitely peaked my interest, I placed the letter on the table and looked back into the box. There were three large bundles of letters, all tied up together with ribbon. I pulled out each pile and checked the dates on the top letter finding one with the date August 21 2009... The day I left.


	2. August 21 2012

**August 21 2012**

**Dear Comrade,**

I cant believe we did it. We defeated practically an army and we rescued people that were taken! Its amazing. I never would have believed we could do it, but we did. I feel sick when I think about all of the guardians and moroi that we lost though... Alot of them were so young, barely into their loves and its taken away... Just like that.

I remember catching glimpses of you fighting in the caves, you looked incredible. So badass. The way you moved, it was... Graceful... In a very manly way haha.

I cant believe I let myself get hit by that strigoi, I should have seen him, I should have been faster, stronger, just like you were training me to be... I hope youre not mad that I failed... Im glad you were there to save me, I remember catching climpses of you carrying me back to the infirmary. I could smell your aftershave so I knew it was you without even having to concentrate. Thankyou for that.

I woke up here in the clinic about half an hour ago, the doctor says I will only have to be in here over night, I got a concussion, isnt that a bitch.

Lissa left me some paper and a pen, said that I would probably die of boredom so I should write or draw or something... Thats when I remembered hearing about this women who wrote letters to her husband while he was fighting in the war. She never sent them though, instead she stored them in a cupboard and gave them all to him when he finally came home.

I know we arent married but... I love you, so I figured I would write you a letter while Im stuck in here. Cheesy huh

With everything thats happened its hard to believe its been a day and a half since we gave in to ourselves in the cabin. That was the single most amazing moment of my life, it was perfect... Because it was you. I love you so much Dimitri Belikov, so much it hurts :)

well, Im going to go and wait for you to come and visit me, you havent been in yet...

I love you Comrade

Xoxo -Rose


	3. August 22 2012

**August 22 2012**

**Comrade,**

Please tell me shes lying! Tell me that theyre all lying!

I stayed up all night last night waiting for you to come and see me...only you never showed. I assumed at the time that it was just because you were helping with the extra guard and patrols theyve put in place since the attack... Until Lissa came in this morning...

She said You left? You accepted _that womens _offer?

I honestly didnt believe her at first, I refused to believe her, I just didnt think you could do that to me... I thought you were different... I thought you loved me.

So I went to your room to see you... But your room was empty, it was as though you had never even been there. The only signal that you had lived in there was that I could still smell the faint scent of your aftershave...

Im ashamed to say I collapsed, I lay on your bed and I cried.

Im Rose Hathaway, I never cry. Ever.

Did our time in the cabin really mean nothing to you? Were you lying when you said you loved me? Did You just use me for sex?

Once you finally managed to get into my pants you just up and left, going to have a family with that whore of a women. I guess I shouldnt have got my hopes up, I truely believed that we could make it, that we could sort something out and be together. I guess I really am still a child, a stupid naive little girl.

Still...You told me you so many times that you wanted to be with me! You said you loved me more than anything else...

Liar! How could you.

-Rosel


	4. Present day- Dimitri

**Present time :DPOV**

I ran my hands down my face... I had always wondered how she had really taken my leaving, I didnt even really know how she found out...

To know that she had held out hope, she really believed I couldnt do something like that... Even I couldnt believe I did that... But I did.

I left the women who truely held my heart, believing it was in her best interest. I still believe it was right.

My Roza, my poor sweet Roza believed I didnt love her? She really believed I used her like that? It broke my heart.

I heard the door jiggle so I swept everything up and quickly moved to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me as I heard Tasha move about in the living room. This was something I didnt want her to see.

I sat down on the bed taking a deep breath as I picked up the next letter in the pile and began reading.


	5. August 29 2012

**August 29 2012**

You rang yesturday, Comrade. A week since you left, you rang.

When I saw your name flashing on my phone I didnt know what to do. I was sitting on my bed staring at the wall when my ringtone went off, my hand was physically trembling when I picked my phone up. Yuve turned me into a pathetic snivelling fool.

Im ashamed now to say that I got my hopes up, I wanted to believe that you were calling to say you were sorry, that you were on the plane coming back to me...

I remember the whole call perfectly...

_"Roza..." you murmured quietly over the line when I answered._

I couldnt figure out what to say, I had to fight myself not to burst into tears at the sound of your voice but I controlled myself.

_"Dimitri..." I had whispered back._

_"Im sorry Roza, Im sorry for leaving the way I did but..."_

I got my hopes up then, my heart beat faster and my body tensed. But what? But Im sorry? But Im coming back? It was the longest few seconds of my life waiting for you to continue.

_"but I wouldnt have been able to say goodbye to your face... It was hard enough leaving you behind. I had to though, I was distracting you Roza, You almost died in those caves because You were worried about me getting hurt, I cant have you doing that, I need you to focus on keeping yourself and Lissa alive. Im sorry but this is the way it has to be. I hope you can understand..."_

You had said it all so fast that it took me a moment to comprehend that you... You were calling to say goodbye. For good.

The sob escaped my lips before I could stop it. The tears were Welling up and spilling over but I didnt care. You were saying goodbye... Thats the moment it completely sunk in that you had left me for good, you really werent coming back.

_"Im so sorry Roza..." _you said, you sounded Broken, your voice was thick and your accent was heavy, that only happened when you were emotional... I couldnt handle that though.

I hung up.

Thr phone slipped from my hands and I bought my knees up, curling into a ball in the middle of my bed, I cried. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I was never going to recover from this heartache. I couldnt breath, I couldnt think, I couldnt move.

Lissa found me like that the next morning. She stayed with me for the whole day, trying to get me to eat or to speak but I refused, I couldnt go on.

Its been hours, she finally gave up and left me to suffer alone which is how I want it. I dont want to be around anyone.

I barely got myself up to write this, I dont even know why Im doing it... No actually, I think I do. Im writing this so that in the future I will remember. Ill remember the one who ripped my heart out and stomped on it. Ill remember what you did to me so that Ill never give my heart to anyone ever again, no one will get as close to me as you did.

Dimitri Belikov.

-Rose.


	6. October 25 2012

**October 25 2012**

Dimitri,

Well I did it.

Today I officially graduated, Im finally a full fledged guardian. But not just any guardian, no. I am the last Dragomirs guardian.

Thats right, Lissa is my charge.

Are you proud? Its what you wanted isnt it? For me to be completely undistracted from my duties? To pass my trials, which I did, top of the class and highest scores that Saint Vladimirs has seen in years.

I know I should be happy, I should be extatic, its what I wanted my whole life, its all I worked for, its what her parents wanted...

But even as I sat in the crowd, as my name was called and my grades were read out, as I was handed my diploma and told that I would be her main guardian, I couldnt smile, I couldnt find it in me to be happy... Because you werent there.

You werent there to hug me when I got off the stage, or to look at me with all the pride and love shining in your eyes, I didnt get a well done or congratulatory kiss...because You werent there.

It still hurts that youre gone...Where are you Comrade? I miss you...

-Rose


	7. November 12 2012

**November 12 2012**

Dimitri,

Ive been sick lately. I havent been sleeping well, Ive barely been eating and anything I did eat would just come back up. I tried to hide it, but apparently I lost enough weight for it to be noticeable and as Lissa puts it ' I have monster bags' under my eyes.

She freaked when I told her Id been throwing up for the last 3 weeks. Forced me to go to see Dr O before we leave the academy for good.

She literally had to drag me to see her... But you know what... I kind of wish I had been more stubborn and not gone at all because I almost died when she told me...

She did tests on me, blood tests mostly... But she made me do one in particular that I had to argue about. She thought I was pregnant.

I scoffed in her face when she asked if I had been with anyone lately, theres no way I was pregnant.

I refuse to let anyone get as close to me as you did. You are the one and only person I had ever made love... Had sex with.

She ran a blood test though to check since I flat out refused the urine test.

It came back positive.

...

Yeah that was my reaction. I just sat there staring at her. She had to be wrong, it had to be a false positive, so I argued again and she redid the test.

When she came back the second time she explained that pregnancy blood tests are 99% accurate...

And It was positive. Twice.

So Dimitri, Comrade, Guardian Belikov... Youve got your wish... You are going to be a father...

And you may never know about it...because you left me ...and you probably wont believe me anyway...no one else does.

-Rose


	8. Dimitris point of view

**Dimitri, present day**

Was she serious? I couldnt believe it, I had to reread the letter three times just to even comprehend what it was telling me. I fell back against the wall, staring at the wall opposite me...

Was she really telling the truth? She had my baby?

I worked it out that if she was telling the truth... He or she would be three, almost 4 years old right now...

I whipped out my phone, dialing Vasilisas number, she would tell me the truth wouldnt she? She was the one who had apparently sent me these letters after all...

The phone kept ringing, and ringing and ringing.

Eventually it just went to voicemail so I snapped it shut.

Looking down there were still a few letters left, hopefully they could answer some of the questions I had swirling around in my mind...

I could be a father and not have even known about it... I ran a hand over my face before picking up the next letter...


	9. December 12 2012

**December 12 2012**

Dimitri,

I went to the mall in Missoula with Lissa today, you remember the one? It was a bittersweet moment when I pulled up in the van, I parked in the exact same spot we did back during my first 'field experience' training, that time we went with Victor *shudder*. Im glad hes still locked up.

We were going for two reasones, one was shopping for Lissa, she was invited to a fancy ball for some rich, snobby royals in California next week... I cant even remember which Royal family is hosting it, but theyre all bound to be there. And you know Lissa, she cant turn down a reason to get dressed up.

I have no choice but to go with her, being her main guardian and all...

Theres something Ive wanted to ask you...

Are you proud of me?

You said you left because you distracted me... Well I graduated, I was made Lissas full time main guardian...

I have everything I ever wanted...

Can you hear my sarcasm? Its there, its always there these days. Im even surpassing Christian in sarky attitude, and he was the king of it.

So...

Why am I even still writting these you may ask? Well Its alot like a diary... It helps ease the pressure inside me. Sometimes I feel as if my heart is going to explode but not in a good way...

Anyway, The second reason we were at Missoula is because I wanted to see a doctor that wasnt from court... Everyone there believes I slept with a moroi, not just any loroi, oh no, they are believe its Adrian of all people... And I couldnt stand hearing the rumours or the whispers so anything baby related was sorted outside of court.

I was scheduled for my second ultrasound. This one was going to show the baby...

I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. I was alone, I sent Liss off with her Other guardian.

When the doctor came in she was moroi, she was nice. She didnt ask me about you which I was greatful for, nobody believes I only slept with a dhampir so Id rather not tell them...

Our baby is healthy, his hearts beating strong and hes growing at a fast rate, though Im not surprised, she said he was probably going to be a big boy if his father was 6'7.

I dont actually know if its a boy or girl yet, I guess I just really want a boy... Would he have your eyes? Your hair? Your smile?

Im only 4 months along but I cant wait to meet him.

Lissa says Ill have to go on maternity leave once it starts to show that Im pregnant...

I miss you...

-Rose.


	10. December 23 2012

**December 23 2012**

I was told by Christian and Lissa that Tasha called. She said you and her would be coming to stay over christmas.  
What am I supposed to do?

I dont want you to see me like this, my baby bump has appeared, almost as though it grew over night.  
I cant imagine what you would think if you showed up and saw me this way... you would probably think I slept with someone else...

but I dont want you to think that.

So Ive told Lissa that Im going away. Im going to go and stay in Turkey with my father.  
Huh... have I told you about him? I met him just after graduation, his name is Ibrahim Mazur but I call him 'old man.'  
He dresses like someone out of a bad 70s mafia movie, brightly coloured thick scarves and he even has the big gold hoop earing in one ear, but he seems like a giant teddy bear... well A short plump Moroi teddy bear anyway...

He doesnt know Im pregnant yet, infact I havent even told my mother either... no doubt she'll explode, but dont worry, Im not planning on telling either of them who the father really is... I dont want you to get hurt, because I know they would both hunt you down.

I havent been sick lately, seems Ive got past the morning sickness stage of the pregnancy... well It was actually more like an all day sickness, little man didnt like any of the foods I was eating... maybe hes going to have your taste in foods... damn, that means I may just have to learn to cook healthy...

Well, I guess Im going to go and pack some stuff, I want to be gone before you guys get here...

X Rose.


	11. December 31 2012

**December 31 2012**

**Dimitri,**

How was your christmas?  
Mine was alright, Ive been in Turkey for almost 9 days now. Its been interesting, I didnt realise my father owned a mansion here. But he does. Its massive, 10 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, a gigantic backyard full of Rose bushes and hundreds of other flowers. He has his own staff and everything.

He didnt freak out like I thought he would when he saw me, in fact he seemed happy about it. He said, and I quote, "Kiz, this is the best christmas present you could have ever given me, a grandbaby. And As long as YOU are happy then I am happy... Just know that if you give the word, I will kill the bastard that did this to you and left."

See.. hes sweet :)

Our boy has been really unsettled lately, I can feel him moving around now, its such a surreal feeling. He seems to calm down when Im out in the garden, surrounded by the sweet scent of the flowers. Hes definitely going to be a big boy... or girl... I am going to find out what it is at my next doctors appointment. I think I want Lissa to come to my appointments now, I was hesitant at first, I didnt think anyone else had a right to be there... anyone that wasnt you... but shes been so great about all of this.  
Shes even gone shopping and bought 'neutral coloured' baby clothes.

Shes going to go nuts when she finds out what we are having...

Did you know I still have your number saved to my phone? I almost called you to wish you a merry christmas... but I couldnt do it, I didnt want to hear your voice again... it would probably break me.

Well, I better go, the old man is back.

Oh before I forget... Happy New Year Comrade...

X Rose.


	12. January 10 2013

**January 10 2013**

He kicked me today. For the first time I felt him actually kick me...it hurt.

I guess Im not surprised, hes got two badass parents so I can only imagine just how badass he will be...

Oh yeah, I was right. He is a boy. A big healthy baby boy.  
Lissa went insane buying things for him, shes decorated the spare room in my apartment as his nursery. So many different shades of blue.

Anyway, enough about us...

How about you? I heard from Christian that you and Tasha didnt look very... together... while you were here? In fact he said you barely spoke to eachother? Is there something wrong in your relationship?

I would like to say Im sorry to hear that... only Im not.

I still hate what you did, I hate that you left me for her, I hate that you never came back to me.. to us...

But Im dealing with it, Im moving on... Im staying strong, for the new man in my life... for our son.

X Rose.


	13. Dimitri - present day

**Dimitri - Present day**

Trouble with mine and Tashas relationship? Ha

there was no relationship. When I took Tashas offer I made it clear to her that I didnt want her 'benefits,' I only accepted it because I needed to go and it was the easiest way...

But I guess its never stopped Tasha from hoping, or trying.

I cant believe Rose really believes I would move on, I cant believe she thinks so little of me that I would do that to her...

I tear my eyes away from the letter to the pounding on my door.  
"Dimka? Are you ok in there? Why is your door locked?" Tasha asked at the same instant my door handle jiggled like crazy.

I sighed in frustration. "Im fine Tasha, Im... trying to sleep."

"Oh..." The door handle stopped. "Well, Ill be out here if you need me."

I heard her walk away from the door before turning to pick up the next letter...


	14. April 29 2013

**April 29 2013**

I know its been a while Dimitri, Ive been busy...

Guess what?

Your son was born last night.

After 6 hours of labour, he was born at exactly 6:27pm. He weighs just over 10 pounds and is as long as my forearm already.  
He has your light brown eyes, I cried when I held him for the first time. He didnt cry when he was born, he didnt even make a sound. I thought something was wrong but when the doctor handed him to me he just looked at me, his little baby lips seemed to smile at me.

Hes perfect Comrade, absolutely perfect.

Ive put of photo of him, see?

X Rose


	15. Dimitri Present day

**Dimitri - Present day**

My hand trembled as I held the photo infront of me.

It was a photo of a small baby laying in Rozas arms, her hair was clinging to her forhead and her face looked worn out and tired but she had the biggest, warmest smile I have ever seen on her face. There was pride and love clearly written in her eyes. I saw the tear that was trailing down her left cheek, my thumb instantly moving over the spot as though I could wipe it away for her...

My heart clenched in pain as I realised that I should have been there, I should have been there to see the birth of my son, to comfort my Roza and to look on just as proudly as she was...

Then my eyes moved down to the bundle in her arms, wrapped in a pale blue blanket. There he was... my son...

His skin was a slight olive colour almost like Rozas but a shade lighter, he had a small hint of deep brown hair on the very top of his head and he was looking up at Roza. I could see his eyes, the soft shade of light brown already.

She was right, he looked perfect...

I flipped the photo over and my eyes welled up as I read the name scrawled in her messy handwriting...

'Mason Ivan Belikov Hathaway' - - "Mase."

I felt the tears fall, leaving a salty wet trail down my cheek but I couldnt find it in me to wipe them away...

What have I done?


	16. June 13 2013

**June 13 2013**

Dimitri,

You wont believe how fast Mase is growing, hes already trying to roll over. Hes so curious, whenever hes awake his eyes are always searching for something new.

Lissa bought him a bouncey seat, I dont even know what you call it, but he absolutely loves it. I always put him in it while Im tidying up...

Yes, I, Rose Hathaway, clean. Christian almost had a heartattack when he came over, not long after I bought Mase home because the house was absolutely spotless. He actually pulled his phone out and took a photo saying that it was a 'miraculous occasion.'

I slapped him so hard.

Ive put a photo of you by Mases bed, I hope you dont mind. I want him to know you, well.. Know of you anyway...

Its the photo from when we were back at the academy...

We were training in the gym, you had just flipped me over your shoulder but I managed to drag you down with me, just as you rolled onto your back on the mats Lissa had run over and snapped your photo.

You look so happy, that secret, only for certain people, grin was on your face.

I miss seeing it...

X Rose


	17. August 22 2013

**August 22 2013**

Dimitri,

Hes nearly 6 months old. Hes just learnt how to crawl, not fast, but fast enough that he needs to be watched.

Hes still just as curious as ever.

I wish you could hear his giggle, its the cutest thing ever, Lissa even made it her ringtone.

Im putting him into daycare next month so that I can go back to guarding. Ive been taking him with me to the gym, he loves watching the other guardians sparring. He actually laughed at Guardian Castile when he got knocked over by Guardian Korins, whose half his size And a girl.

I didnt realise how out of shape I had let myself get, But Im running every day, just like you taught me.

Christian and Lissa came to visit you guys last week, Im glad they did then otherwise I would have had no choice but to go with them when I get back on duty... I dont know if I could handle that...

I tell myself every day that Im over you, that the pain in my chest isnt because youre not here... But I know Im kidding myself...

Do you know what today is? I just looked at the calendar... Its been exactly one year today that you left me...

Exactly one year Dimitri... And it still hurts just as bad...

X Rose


	18. Dimitri present day pov

**Dimitri- present day**

I remember that... I remember Christian and Lissa coming to visit, her phone went off so many times, I remember hearing the small childs laugh and thinking about how much it reminded me of my nephew Paul...

All that time I was hearing my sons laugh... And I didnt know it...

Ill never forgive myself for this, never. Even if I went back and she, by some giant miraculous gift she took me back, I would never be able to make up for any of this...

Im a miserable excuse for a man...


	19. November 25 2013

**November 25 2013**

I almost died today Dimitri...

I let my guard down for a half second and I almost lost my life because of it.

Lissa and Christian and I were going to a royal meeting in Los Angeles, we had six guardians with us.

After the plane landed we drove in two black SUVs, it was dark so we were all on look out just incase...

I was driving when something caught my attention, I saw a flash of grey so I radioed to the other van, they saw it too so we sped up to get away.

Thats when something smashed through the windscreen, there was glass shattering and screaming, I lost control and we crashed into a ditch.

In the few mintes it took us to make sure Lissa and Christian were safe, our van was surrounded by atleast 10 strigoi.

They demanded we hand over Lissa.

I didnt think twice before attacking, going from one to another, driving my stake through their hearts.

I heard Lissa scream so I turned...thats when A strigoi flashed out and knocked me straight through the window of the van, as I got back up to fight he appeared infront of me, god Ive never encountered a strigoi that is THAT fast... He wrapped his fingers around my throat and pulled me forward...

I felt his fangs sink into my skin...I felt him start to drain me...I never felt fear like that, fear for myself, fear for Lissa, fear for Mase, fear of never seeing you again... I felt the endorphins start coursing through my body then and I...forgot... I forgot everything, why I was fighting, what I was doing there, I even forgot who I was...

And then he let me go, he dropped me to the ground. I thought I was dead, my body wouldnt work, I was so weak...

If it hadnt been for Christian I wouldnt be here. He saved my life.

He torched that strigoi until it was nothing more than a pile of ash...

Comrade, I wish you hadnt left me, I wish you were still here, I feel... I feel lost Comrade...

I miss you... So much it hurts...

X Rose


	20. January 17 2014

**January 17 2014**

Another year gone, another year youre not here.

*sigh*

Im really pathetic, I should be over you, I should be able to move on... But I cant.. I just cant.

Whats wrong with me?

...

Your sons doing well, he can stand on his own already, he tries to walk but ends up landing on his butt. Im glad hes a tough little monster because he barely cries anymore.

I read to him every night, do you know what his favourite story is?

Cowboy Billy and the cattle drive.

How crazy is that? He has your taste in books, I should have guessed. Ive given him the nickname 'cowboy,' and he loves it. Im sure his first word will be 'yippe ky yay' or 'howdy' or something ridiculous like that.

Lissa thinks something is wrong with me, she hasnt said anything directly to me, but I can see it. Sometimes when she thinks Im not paying attention I can see her studying me with a worried look on her face.

She has reason to be worried... Im not the same as I was, I will never be the same as I was.

X Rose


	21. April 28 2014

**April 28 2014**

Its Mase's first birthday.  
Hes such a big boy now, he can walk... but he prefers to run. Hes tall for his age and hes so protective of me its adorable.

Guess what?  
Lissa and Christian are going to have a baby :) Im so happy for them, Lissa is extatic, theyre already coming up with possible names.

I keep waiting to hear news of Tasha getting pregnant... Im expecting it, but Im dreading it.  
That would mean Mase would have a half brother or sister wouldnt it?  
Its almost too painful to even think about...

I went on a date the other day, Lissa set me up with a guardian from court. He was nice enough, sandy blone hair and a nice figure... but he wasnt you. Thats all I could think about during dinner... and then when he dropped me home he tried to kiss me, but I couldnt do it.  
I couldnt even agree on a second date with him... it just felt wrong...

Ive decided that this is actually quite good for me, to be writing down how Im feeling. I know, and I hope, no one ever finds these letters but I feel so much lighter, less weighed down when I write it out. I dont feel comfortable telling anyone any of this stuff... Not even Lissa.

I dream of the day you would come back, that you just show up one day at my door and beg me to take you back... and then You, me and Mase get to be one big happy family...

It hurts when I wake up... because I know it would ever happen...

X Rose


	22. July 19 2014

**July 19 2014**

Mase spoke his first, real, clear word today.

Daddy.  
His first word was Daddy.

He was watching a kids show on tv when an ad came on, it was of a boy dressed as a cowboy. Mase's face lit up because he had a costume like it, but the boy in the ad ran up to his dad who picked him up and they were laughing together.  
Mase pointed at the tv and giggled, then he said daddy and turned to look at me...

I cried.

X Rose


	23. Dimitri after July 19

**Dimitri - present day**

Daddy? His first word was daddy...

My heart swelled as I imagined being there to hear it for the first time, picking him up and swinging him around in my arms, kissing his forehead lovingly,Telling him how proud I am...

Oh my son... and My Roza...

I pulled out my cellphone again and dialed Lissas number. This time she answered.

"Hello?"

"Vasilissa... its Dimitri."

There was a sharp intake of breath and some shuffling on the other end of the phone. I heard Lissa speak to someone and ask them to get her a coffee, I knew it was Rose she was talking as soon as I heard her answer.

"Dimitri, I take it you got my delivery?" She asked when she returned to the phone.

"I did..." I trailed off... I really didnt know what to say, so many things came to mind but none of them seemed the right thing to say... Im an idiot for leaving? Do you think she will take me back? Is he really my son? Does she hate me?

"And?" She sounded almost angry as she voiced that one word.

"And... I dont know what to do, Lissa I regret ever leaving, Ive wanted to come back but I thought she would have moved on, I had no idea she was like this... I ... I want her back.. But she would never forgive me... Ive done too much damage.." It all came tumbling out before I even knew what I was saying.

"Dimitri, she doesnt, Ive nev- sorry Ive got to go. Ill call you tomorrow or something." She abruptly broke off and hung up before I could say anything.

I just sat there staring before the frustration kicked in. I threw my phone at the wall, the sound off it shattering and falling to the ground was satisfying... only for a second.

"Dimka? Dimka what was that?" Tasha called from the living room.

"Nothing, dont panic."

There were only three letters left.. I picked up the next one and started reading.


	24. December 26 2014

**December 26 2014**

How was your christmas Dimitri?

Ours was great, we had a party at Lissa and Christians house... well it was half a christmas party. Lissa popped.

After we had cake, Liss said she was feeling tired so she went up to lay down. She was only gone for five minutes before we heard a huge scream. Thinking she was being attacked or something I practically kicked her door down, her water had broken and she had gone into labour.

Lucky women was only in labour for an hour before her daughter was born.  
"Rhea Marie Ozera-Dragomir"

Rhea after Lissas mother, and Marie after me.

Shes is the most adorable little baby girl I have ever seen, and Mase already loves her. He gives her the cutest little kisses on her forehead.

Seeing Christian with his baby girl breaks my heart. It makes me imagine just how loving, and amazing you would have been as Mases father.

Maybe one day he will know you for real...

X Rose


	25. February

**February 18 2015**

Mase is learning so quickly its hard to keep track. Today he came home from playschool and asked about you.

"Mummy... Wheres daddy?"

Ive been dreading that question since the day I gave birth to him. What am I supposed to say to him? Hes not even two yet... He wouldnt understand.

So I told him half of the truth.

I told him that his daddy is an amazing, strong, talented Man and that because of that he was called away before Mase was born. Someone needed the best guardian out there to protect them so he was chosen.

I cant tell him that you left us... Not until hes older anyway...

X Rose


	26. May 17 2015

**May 17 2015**

Dimitri... Comrade... Mase is sick.

Not just flu sick... No, hes been hospitalized and they dont know why.

He was fine until yesturday, he had been to playschool and come home as happy as he usually is. I sent him to play with his toys in the living room while I started dinner... I heard a loud thump so I rushed in and he had collapsed on the ground.

I couldnt wake him up, I was so scared Comrade. I didnt know what to do so I rang Lissa, she called the clinic and we rushed him over there...

Hes been unconcious ever since.

I refuse to leave his side, hes my little man, my little cowboy, I cant lose him...

I cant lose him.

X Rose.


	27. Chapter 27

**The rest of this story is in Dimitris point of view :)**

No... No, no, no, no, no!

My blood ran cold and it felt as though my heart stopped.

He wasnt waking up... Something was wrong with him... He would never know me... I would never know him...

I couldnt let that happen...

May 17th... I almost couldnt believe it...That was three days ago!

I leapt up from my bed, grabbed my wallet, passport and keys and I tore out of my room.

"I have to go, Im sorry Tasha!" I all but yelled at her as I ran past where she was sitting on the couch, I had enough time to see her shocked and confused face as I shot out the front door.

I made it to my car and was hopping into the passenger seat as Tasha reached the door, "Where are you going?" she called.

"Back to court!" I managed to yell out the window as I reversed and sped off to the airport.

I just prayed that I wasnt too late...


	28. Chapter 28

That was the single, longest, most intense plane ride of my life. No exaggeration.  
The 8 hour trip felt like it took days.

Finally, finally I made it to the rental car I had rung and ordered before leaving Russia.

As I sped down the highway, taking the shortest route possible to get to court I pulled out my phone and dialed the one number I havent rung in almost four years.

Being glad that I hadnt deleted it, all those times I had sat in my room and stared at her number trying to pull up the courage to delete it, Im more than glad right now that I hadnt been able to.

I hit call and put it on speaker so I could concentrate on driving. Holding my breath as I listened to the dial tone.

_"Youve reached Rose and Mase, We arent near my phone, If you leave a message we might get back to you. beeeep"_

Damn it.

I hit end and scrolled through my contacts, landing on Lissas number before hitting call again.

It barely rang once...

_"Hello, Vasilissa speaking."_

"Lissa, its Dimit-" I didnt even get the chance to finish saying my name before she cut me off.

_"Nows not a good time, Ill -" I_ heard her pull the phone away slightly and yell out 'Christian can you get Rhea please!' before she came back, _"Dimitri, things arent good right now, I dont think nows the right time to talk about th-"_

I couldnt help my frustration, I cut her off this time.

"Lissa Im half an hour away from Court."

_"What?" _She sounded 100% surprised. _"Your coming here?" _

"Yes, I need to see them. Is... Is Mason still in hospital? Is he ok?"

There was a hesitation before she spoke again, quieter than before, _"Hes still alive, he hasnt woken up yet though... It doesnt look good Dimitri...Rose isnt coping either, shes a wreck."_

My breath caught in my throat, my chest tightened. "Ill be there soon."

I snapped my phone shut and planted my foot harder on the accelerator.


	29. Chapter 29

"Good afternoon, State your busi- Oh, its you Guardian Belikov, what brings you back here? Where's Lady Ozera?"

I had to stop at the guard station at the entrance to court, the guardian stationed there was a man I had worked with many years ago, I couldnt remember him but he obviously remembered me.

"Shes still in Russia, Im here on... personal business." I answered him curtly.

He obviously caught on to the fact that I was in a hurry because he just nodded and waved me through.

I was parked and racing from the main garage within minutes. This was definitely one of those instances where I was glad Im so tall.

I headed straight to the clinic on the other side of court, bounding over the low garden brick walls and tearing around corners, I was passing people that I knew but I was in too much of a rush to even acknowledge them, I couldn't risk another minute away from my Roza and my son.

Before I knew it the large red and orange brick building was looming up infront of me, its massive main doors were closed but I could see the nurses and the sick and injured moving about on the other side.

I rushed up to the automatic doors, pushing them open faster with my hands. I ran to the middle of the large reception room, looking both ways wildly. I must have looked like a mad man.

"Can I help you sir?" The blonde, pale moroi women sitting behind the main desk asked with a raised eyebrow and looking up from her computer screen.

"Hathaway, Im looking for Rose Hathaway, her son Mason is in here." I answered quickly.

She narrowed her eyes for barely a second before biting her bottom lip, "Room 401. Straight down there, take a right at the end and its the third room on the left." She answered pointing towards the left corridor.

"Thankyou." I nodded before running down the corridor.

I was so close, so close to my Roza I could feel it.

I could also feel my heart beating a million miles as I slowed down infront of the door marked 401.


	30. Chapter 30

I stood infront of room 401, my hand lay flat against the door.  
I couldnt open it.  
I couldnt breath, I couldnt even move, I was locked in place as I caught sight of the scene inside through the small window frame.

The room was pure white, nothing on the walls, a typical hospital bed was pushed against the wall and a small figure lay under blankets, his light brown hair was splayed out on the pillow behind his head, if not for the obvious paleness to his skin you would think he was only sleeping... and there were wires hooked up to him... so many wires...

one led to a drip with clear fluid inside, another was hooked up to a drip that had a red liquid... blood? He was having blood transfusions? why?  
I could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor that was attached to his small body as well, the constant sound was scarey yet reasurring...

The table beside his bed held a vase of red, purple and white roses, a card propped up and a jug of water.

My eyes then fell to the form in the chair beside his bed.

My Roza.

My memories and the photo I had didnt do her justice. She was still just as breathtakingly stunning as the day we met... she was hunched forward, her head resting in her folded arms on the edge of the bed, her face was looking towards the door. Even with her eyes closed I could see the deep, blue-black bags that meant she hasnt been sleeping well at all.

I pushed open the door slowly expecting her to lift her head, but then I heard the low, soft snoring. She must have been so worn out she fell asleep like that.

I took a couple of quiet steps into the room, watching the two of them sleep. They looked so alike, I could only imagine that his eyes were the same colour and shape as his mothers. I wished he would open them so that I could know if it was true... I remembered the sound of his laugh from Lissas phone, imagining what his voice sounded like when he spoke... was his attitude like mine or hers? I know he was protective but I bet he was just as impulsive and reckless as her already...

"Com...Comrade..."

My eyes immediately went to Rozas face, expecting to see her eyes open... but they werent. She was dreaming... about me?

"Oh my Roza..." It slipped from my lips in a quiet whisper.

Her eyes slowly fluttered open and the deep brown eyes I loved were suddenly staring back at me. They widened a little before she lifted her head and her lips parted a little as she stared at me.  
"Dim...Dimitri?" She murmured, rubbing one eye at a time slowly. "Am I dreaming? I must be." her voice came out in a harsh grumble, her eyes lowered and she glared at the ground.

"Roza... youre awake... Im really here and... and Im so sorry." I knew words wouldnt be enough, I didnt expect her to ever forgive me for what I did, hell I wouldnt forgive myself.

She lifted her eyes back up to my own, her eyebrows still knotted together in confusion.

"Why?" That one word was spoken so harshly that it made me flinch a little. "Why are you here?"

"I..." My eyes flicked from her to Mason, she followed my gaze and froze and her eyes narrowed as she looked back at me.

I gulped, I dont know why I was suddenly afraid as I practically whispered my next sentence. "I came because my son is sick...and you needed me."


	31. Chapter 31

She froze, every part of her stiffened and she stopped breathing for a moment. "you... you know?" She spoke it as more of a statement than a question.

I nodded once, choosing my answers carefully. "I found out a few hours ago. Roza why didnt you tell me? Why didnt you atleast call me and tell me I had a son?"

"Call you? Why should I have called you?! you were the one who left me Dimitri, you left me to go and be her guardian. I was protecting myself, I was protecting my son. I couldnt risk having you come back into his life just to leave again! besides, you probably wouldnt have believed me anyway. I dont understand why you even believe me now." She spoke harshly but I knew I deserved it, I knew she was broken, her letters had told me that much at least.

"I believe you because I read it, I read how you felt when I left, when you found out you were pregnant... you wouldnt lie about something like that Roza. I know you wouldnt."

"You... you what? You read it?" Her face was full of confusion. "Explain. now." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.

I sucked in a breath, I couldnt get Lissa into trouble, not after she sent me them and helped me realise how stupid my decision had really been.

"I.. recieved a box in the mail... inside it had letters dating as far back as August 21st 2012...They were all addressed to me... from you."

"I never wrote you any-" She stopped midsentence, I knew she had figured it out, her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "The letters from my wardrobe... you were never meant to get any of them." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Lissa. It was Lissa that sent them wasnt it?"

"Please dont be mad at her Roza, Im glad I know... Im sorry I left, that I put you through all of that, But Im glad I know now."

I heard a loud crack and I barely registered what had happened untill the sting in my cheek started. She had slapped me, hard.

"Dont. Dont you apologize Dimitri. I dont want your apologize, I dont want your sympathy. What? You think just because you read some of my letters that you can come waltzing back into mine or Masons life? Forget it, youll have to do better than a simple 'Im sorry."

I knew she was right, "Roza, I dont expect you to forgive me right away, Im going to make sure I work the rest of my life to make it up to you, to show you how much of a mistake it had been for me to leave in the first place. But Im here now wether you like it or not and I am not going anywhere. Ever. again." I folded my arms over my chest and stared at her.

She copied my stance, staring directly into my eyes I could see the fight going on in her mind. She was struggling with whatever she was thinking, eventually though I saw the spark of something, it was the simple flash of an emotion. An emotion I recognised.

I watched as her eyes started glistening, I saw the tears build up and then start falling slowly trailing down her cheek. I ached to reach out and wipe them away, was I willing to risk another slap to the face, or worse?

yes.

I took a step foreward and lifted my hand to her face, cupping her cheek in my palm and gently wiped away her tears.  
"Im not leaving you again Roza, I promise." I murmured.

She closed her eyes, "I dont know how to believe you anymore. I dont know if I can..."


	32. Chapter 32

"Please... just give me the chance to make things right. Give me the chance to try and make up for what Ive done, make up for the time Ive missed. Roza, believe me when I say that I thought leaving was what was best for you, If I had known that things would turn out like this I never would have even considered it. I wouldnt have lefy you to raise our son on your own, You know I would have come back, for both of you..."

"Dimitri... You know how I feel, you said you read all of my letters so you know. You know that Ive spent the last almost 4 years hurting over you, being in pain, I was never completely happy. You broke me, you left me on my own. I needed you, so many times I needed you and you werent there..."

"I didnt know... but Im here now, Im here now and Im never leaving again. Roza I love you."

She stopped breathing, her eyes flew open and she studied my expression. I had dropped my guardian mask, Im not ashamed to admit that I had tears in my eyes, I refused to look away from her as one slipped and fell down my cheek. I had been away from her for too long, I wasnt about to hide anything from her.

"Comrade... I ... I love you too." She sobbed as she reached up and pulled my face to hers in a soft, sweet, intense kiss. It was like heaven, like finally coming home after a long journey, like the first taste of water after walking the desert... It was everything I had been missing since I left.

When we finally pulled apart she bit her lip as she looked up at me, I couldnt find any words to say so instead I just smiled at her, my first real smile in a long time.

I would have pulled her into another kiss, her lips were just too tempting... but the machines around us suddenly started going wild.

We both jerked our eyes to the heart monitor Mase was hooked up too, it was beeping erratically.

"no..." Roza whispered, she rushed over to her son, putting a hand on his forhead, "no, no, no...Mase! baby please, wake up Mase!" She started getting louder.

Two moroi nurses suddenly burst through the door, going immediately to his side and checking him and the machines.

"Sir, could you please take Miss Hathaway outside!" One of the nurses asked without taking her eyes off Mason.

I moved foreward and wrapped my arms around Rose. She was screaming and crying, "Mason! No, no please Mason, come back, wake up baby!" as I had to drag her towards the door.  
I took one last look back at my son before pulling Roza out with me, the nurses working over his little body as the machines continued to go wild.

I couldnt stop the tears as I looked at the son I only just heard about... but I loved him, I already loved him so much... But he might never know it...

He might never know that his father loved him...


	33. Chapter 33

Life is sick, twisted, tormenting...

I finally had my Roza. I held her in my arms, I could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo surrounding me, drowning me in everything that was and is purely my Roza. I held her as though she was my life line, as though nothing could tear me away again...

How cruel.

I just get back to her, I get back to my son,... but hes hanging by a thread, they havent even figured out whats wrong with him.

They said he died. He actually died. His heart stopped beating for two unbareably long minutes...

But he must be a fighter like his mother... because he came back.

* * *

"Baby, please open your eyes." Roza begged from beside his bed, his little hand clutched in hers as though he was keeping her from falling to pieces. And in truth he probably was.  
I have never seen her so broken, so filled with pain as when she thought he was dead. She went hysterical, screaming his name and collapsing in my arms.  
I never wanted to see her in that sort of pain ever again.

But what could I do?

I sat in the corner of the room, my head in my hands, mind blank, watching as Roza stroked Mases forehead and whispered to him. I had been going over everything in my head for the last hour. Trying to convince myself that he would be alright, that he would wake up and everything would be fine... But the doctors couldnt tell us anything, as far as they could find there was nothing really wrong with him. The only abnormality was that he seemed to have a few extra Moroi and Dhampir DNA strands than normal... but they think thats only because his parents are both dhampirs, something thats supposed to be genetically impossible... but it shouldnt affect his health like this...

My gaze focused compltely back on the scene infront of me when I thought I saw a flicker of movement...  
I lifted my head and watched, there it was again...

Mase was moving his hand!  
I stood up and strode over to the other side of the bed. "Roza, look..." I murmured as I watched his hand again.

"Thats it baby, now open your eyes..." She gently coaxed him, holding his hand in hers and squeezing it gently.

I held my breath for a moment, watching as his long black eyelashes fluttered and then opened.  
"Mummy..." He smiled up at her, it was weak but it was still a smile.

The breath I was holding came out in a hiss of reflief. He was awake. My son was awake. I couldnt stop the gigantic smile on my own face as I watched Roza wrap her arms around him and hug him fiercely.

Then his soft brown eyes fell on me and widened.

"is...are..." Roza pulled back so they were both looking at me now."... daddy?" He whispered.


	34. Chapter 34

I was in shock. I just stared at him, wide eyed, my mouth parted slightly.  
He'd never met me before, he'd never spoken to me before... How did he know?

Mase looked up at Rose, clearly questioning her silently. I looked to see what her reaction would be. Surely she would try to deny it, she would try to convince him otherwise... he probably wasnt ready to meet me, to know me...

Which is why I was beyond shocked when she nodded her head and smiled a small, slightly sad smile.

Mase sat up slowly, the wires and tubes still connecting him to the machines, keeping him from getting up properly. He watched me for a moment, his little eyes staring into mine.

Then he raised his little arms and waited.

"Мой сын"(my son) I murmured leaning down and wrapping my arms around him. His small body resting against my chest, his arms wrapping around my neck tightly. I tried to hold on to my guardian mask, but I couldnt do it, the tears welled in my eyes and spilled over. I had my son, I had my Roza... I looked up at her through my tears to see her watching us. Her eyes glistening and her lips parted in a smile again.

I pulled back from Mase and wiped my eyes quickly, trying to hide the fact that I, Dimitri Belikov, had been reduced to tears.  
"How did you know it was me?" I asked Mase curiously.

"You look like the photo by my bed. And mummy talks about you lots." He beamed, obviously proud that he had been right. I looked back at Roza, a crimson red blush creeping beautifully over her cheeks. I still had one arms around Mase but I lifted the other one, she moved over and the three of us wrapped our arms around eachother.

It was the perfect family moment... Until...

"Wheres Dimka?!"

* * *

**A/N: Another cliffy, you all know who this is dont you?  
****lol  
Just tying up some lose ends, resolving some remaining conflict and then itll be over :( **

**I think I have a story plot for another story similarily written to this one though, I like the letter idea :) But we shall wait and see...**


	35. Chapter 35

"Tasha? What are you doing here?" I asked her, my voice slightly harsher than I meant for it to be. As soon as I had heard her voice I excused myself from the room, Roza raised both her eyebrows at me questioningly before I walked out but I didnt say anything, just smiled and told her Id be back soon.

"Me? _Youre _the one who just up and left! What are _you _doing here?" She folded her arms over her chest, a grumpy look plastered on her face. I could tell she knew something was up but I dont think she knew what.

"Im here because of a...family emergency." I responded carefully. I honestly had no idea how she would respond to finding out I had a child, Tasha has always had a defensive personality when it comes to me, she has been known to take it a step too far sometimes.

"Family? Are your sisters here? or Olena? Is something wrong with Yeva?" She blurted out, her eyebrows raised as she tried to look past me through the door to Mases room.

I shook my head watching as her face turned to one of confusion.

"Tasha I need to tell you something... something big." I hesitated before gesturing down the corridor, "Come and grab a coffee with me?" I asked. I figured it would probably be best to take her away from the room Roza and Mase were in, just in case.

* * *

"Come on Dimka, spit it out already. Whats going on?" Tasha asked when we finally sat at a table in the corner of the hospitals small cafetaria.

"The other day I found out something... something huge... At first I didnt know if I could believe it, but now that Im here... I know its true. And Im happy." I couldnt help the smile that crept onto my face.

"What? What is it?"

"Tasha... Im a father. I have a son."

Her face fell, a look of shock, disbelief, hurt and betrayal flashed through her blue eyes. "You... you what? Since when?"

"4 years ago. I slept with someone four years ago but because the relationship ended... badly... she didnt want to come forward. She didnt know if I would want to know about him so she kept him secret from me until now." I have to admit it sounded bad explaining what Rose had done, but I could understand her reasoning behind it so I wasnt mad at her, I was more mad at myself.

Tashas eyebrows knotted in confusion and she stared down at her coffee for a long moment as though she was thinking hard about something, then she lifted her head and stared directly at me, her blue eyes hardened. "Rose. That bloodwhore has made you believe she had your child? Dimka, shes a dhampir, you are a dhampir! You know its impossible. How can you even think something like that was true! She probably slept with someone else as soon as you left!" Her voice was low and harsh and I could see the anger flashing in her eyes.

"No, She is not a bloodwhore, dont you ever call her that!" I snapped at her, I knew for a fact that my Roza would never become one of them.

"Shes blinded you Dimka, shes trying to stop you from being happy, trying to convince you that that _child _is yours when he isnt! Hes probably the product of a one night stand with some royal who left her!"

"No, Roza wouldnt have done that, I know her. And I know hes my son! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind Tasha, he is MY son and I will not leave them again. I refuse to." I stood up from my seat, the way she was speaking was just frustrating me and making me angry.

"so... So youre quitting? You arent going to be my guardian are you? You would rather stay here and live a lie. Pretending to be the father of a snobby morois child with a dhampir whore who you left? Fine." She crossed her arms and pointedly looked the otherway.

"Tasha... " I let out a sigh, she was still my friend, I had been living with her for the last four years afterall, and known her since childhood.. I felt a little bad because I did know how she felt towards me, this probably broke her heart... but I just couldnt return her feelings, not before, not now.. not ever. "Im sorry it has turned out like this, I would like us to still be friends..."

"Get out. Get out of my sight Dimka, you have made your choice." She still refused to look at me. I put my hand on her shoulder which she immediately shrugged off before I turned and made my way back to Masons room.


	36. Chapter 36

**RPOV**

I know some people wont understand how I could take him back so easily... and in truth it wasnt easy, but I still love him, I never stopped. I always imagined what I would do if he came back and wanted to be in his sons life... I always said yes, I wouldnt deny Mase the chance to have his father around.  
Yes I am still mad at Dimitri for leaving me, infact Im furious at him. He missed out on so much of his sons life. It will be a long, long time before I can trust him properly again, hes going to have to work to earn it back... But I want him to, I want him to try and he has been.

Its been 4 months. 4 months since he decided to stay, since he told Tasha he couldnt be her guardian. She had been so mad at him, so hurt. I wanted to hate her, to despise her for taking him away from me in the first place but after seeing the way she looked at him when she boarded her plane to go home my resolve crumpled, I couldnt hate her for liking him the way she did. She looked so upset I almost felt bad for her...

"Roza!"

I whipped my head around just in time to catch my little monster of a son launching himself onto my back, I twisted and managed to catch him.  
"No fair! Daddy warned you!" Mason squealed as I squeezed him tightly to my chest. I just laughed in response and kissed the top of his head.

Mason squirmed around a bit before I finally released him so he could run back to Dimitri. Seeing them together bought a smile to my face, Mason had immediately taken to Dimitri, calling him daddy from the minute he met him. I was still surprised at that, I would have expected him to be shy or something but nope, he took to him like a moth to a flame. It was sweet.  
And DImitri was a wonderful father, he was gentle and playful but he was also very good at disciplining him, almost better at it than me.

I chuckled as I recalled the first time DImitri gave him a punishment. It had been a month after Mase came home from the hospital...

_"Mummy can we go to the playground?" Mase asked sweetly.  
I glanced down at where he was standing beside me, tugging on the bottom of my shirt. _

_"Hold on baby, I just have to fill out some paperwork and then we can go ok." I replied brushing his hand gently away and turning back to the papers in front of me where I stood at the kitchen counter. I heard him sigh and then walk away, presuming he had gone to his room to play. _

_half an hour later I pushed the papers away, letting out a huff.  
"Mase! Come on, We can go to the park now." I called out to him as I grabbed my jacket from the side of the couch. There was no answer. I walked to his room, peering inside I saw that it was empty. "Mason?!" I called out. _

_Silence._

_I quickly searched the house but I immediately knew he wasnt here, little sneak had left the house and gone to the playground alone! _

_I bolted out of the house and ran all the way down to the playground._

_He was there, and so was Dimitri. _

_I slowed down, neither of them had noticed me yet so I stopped a little distance away but still close enough to hear. Dimitri was kneeling down in front of Mase looking directly at him._

_"Wheres your mum Mason?" His smooth accented voice asked gently. Mason just shrugged, looking down at his feet. Yeah he knew he was in trouble. "Shes not here with you?" Dimitri asked, surprise evident in his tone. _

_Mase looked up at him finally, shrugging his shoulders lightly. "Mummy lets me come here alone." _

_I gasped, a scowl immediately settling on my face. _

_Both of them looked up at me when they heard me. Dimitri stood up straight away turning to face me. Mase just looked scared as I folded my arms over my chest and looked at him crossly. "What were you saying Mason Ivan Belikov?" I asked him._

_"I...I..." He stuttered quietly. _

_Dimitri raised an eyebrow, he looked down at Mason with a hint of dissapointment in his eyes. _

_"You know better than to lie Mister. And you know better than to leave the house alone, and to come all the way out here? I didnt even know you had left the house! Anything could have happened to you!" I growled at him, my arms flailing around to express just how worried and angry I was. _

_"I... Im sorry Mummy..." His bottom lip was trembling and his little voice wavered as he tried not to cry. _

_I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. "You know what?" Mase looked up at me, his eyes wide and surprised at the change in tone of my voice. "Your father can decide how to punish you for this." _

_I almost laughed at the surprised look on Dimitris face, his eyes were wide and his mouth had fallen open slightly. I tried to raise one eyebrow but failed as they both raised. _

_"Are you... sure?" He asked, shifting his gaze from mine down to Mases suddenly hopeful expression. I just nodded at him in response. I know he had been unsure about how to act around Mase since coming back into his life. When he flicked his eyes back to me he spoke. "No tv and no desert, donuts included for 2 weeks. And youre not to leave the house without an adult, ever." _

_I smirked at Dimitri as Mases apparent dissaproval sounded in the form of a long dramatic, "ohhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooo." _

_"I think I like you. Ill get you to make up all of his punishments from now on Comrade." _

I couldnt help but laugh as I remembered the horrified look on Masons face and the smile that tugged on Dimitris lips when I nodded my approval at his punsihment. Since then Mase has always tried to behave whenever Dimtri is around.

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh I have writers block, I honestly dont know how to end this story! Thats why its taking so long, sorry!  
If anyone has an idea on how I should end it please please pleeeeaaase let me know :)**


	37. Chapter 37

"Roza...?" I couldnt keep the hesitation from my voice, her name came out low and husky.

Her gorgeous brown eyes looked up at me from the other side of the table, she lowered the fork in her hand and tilted her head to the side in the most adorable way that my mind went blank for a moment.

She smirked lightly at me as she noticed the blank look that must have shown clearly on my face.

Eventually my thoughts came back to me, as did what I was planning to do next. I reached down and put one hand in the pocket of my duster, my fingers curling around the small velvet box that was hidden away in there.

"Roza, its been almost two years now, two years since you accepted me back into your life, accepted me into Masons life and its been the happiest time of my life. I couldnt imagine my life without either of you in it, I know Ive said this often but I never want to be away from you again..." I quickly moved out of my seat so that I was kneeling infront of her, she gasped loudly and placed a hand over her mouth as I pulled the small box from my pocket and held it up to her. "My Roza, will you marry me?"

Her eyes were wide as she just stared at the small silver diamond ring, its ruby red stone in the middle glistened beside the two smaller diamonds in the light of the candle on the table. My heart started pounding in my chest as the seconds of silence ticked by... I was suddenly afraid that she would say no, that she wouldnt want to be my wife...

We had been officailly dating for the last year and a half, I lived with her and Mason in her appartment and I had been contemplating asking her for a few months now, I had even asked Masons permission. He was extatic, bouncing off the couches and yelling excitedly.

Rozas hand finally dropped from her mouth and a wide smile lit up her face, she nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, yes Comrade I will." She beamed, lifting her left hand so I could slide the ring onto her finger, it fit perfectly and I marvelled at the way it shone on her finger as I placed a soft kiss on her knuckles.

Her hands cupped my cheeks and she swiftly pulled me toward her and kissed me, her lips molding with mine. Her breath was warm and sweet, her lips tasting of chocolate. I pulled back and leaned my forehead against hers.

"I love you Roza, forever."

"I love you too Comrade." she breathed as she studied the ring on her finger, the ring that would very soon bind her to me forever.

The smile on her face was the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I had ever seen...


	38. Chapter 38

"Dad, why do you look scared?"

I couldnt help but grin down at my little best man, dressed in his little black and white suit with a small red bowtie, his ear length light brown hair was brushed and hanging neatly behind his ears. He was looking up at me curiously, fiddling with the little bag he held in his hands which carried our rings.

"Im not scared... Im just excited, and nervous."

"oh..." he murmured quietly as we both glanced towards the door of the small church.

"Oh my darling boys, you both look so handsome." Mama gushed as she moved towards us from where she suddenly appeared in the aisle. I embraced her tightly, kissing her cheek as she released me. Her eyes shone with pride and joy, tears welling slightly in them.

They had come to court for a visit when I rang and told them I was engaged six months ago. I paid for their flights as a christmas present, mama, babushka, karo, sonya, vika, paul and little zoya all arrived two days before christmas.

I remember the shock on their faces when I invited them into our home and introduced them.

_"mama, babushka, everyone... Id like to introduce you to my fiance.." I grinned widely as I moved one arm around Roza and pulled her into my side, I never tired of calling her my fiance, "this is Roza." _

_"Its nice to meet you all, Dimitris told me so mich about all of you." Roza blushed as she smiled at everyone. They greeted her back warmly, mama even stood up and hugged her whispering something in her ear that made her blush deeper, I couldnt make out exactly what she said though._

_They all started chatting together untill I cleared my throat loudly again, they all looked at me curiously, except Babushka who had a knowing gleam in her eye and a smirk on her face. "well...Get on with it Dimka, Im dying to meet him." She grinned at me as everyone else looked confusedly from her to me._

_I grinned at her, I had been slightly worried about thier reactions to the news, but I knew he would be accepted instantly. It would still be a shock for them all though._

_"Mase? Come and meet my family." I called to him where he had been playing in his room. I heard banging and then quiet footsteps coming down the hall. He stopped nervously in the doorway, peering around at the slightly crowded room._

_It was silent except for the sharp gasp from Karo. "Dimka...?"_

_He looked so much like me that I was sure everyone in the room would notice the resemblance._

_"Everybody... This is Mason... Hes my son." I beamed at him as he quickly slid over to me and held onto my side._

_"But... What...how... He..." _

_Nobody knew exactly what to say, they all stared in shock at him. Vika recovered quicker than the others, her eyes glancing between me, Roza and Mase. "But... Whos the mother?" she asked warily._

_"Roza is. Yes she is dhampir too, but shes shadow kissed, she was basically bought back to life by Lissa and that changed her somehow... Thats about all we know. Mase is definitely Mine and Rozas biological son." _

_It was almost instantaneous that they all jumped up, gushing and murmuring excitedly as they hugged the three of us._

I was bought out of my memories as the soft tune of the traditional american wedding march sounded. My heart began beating wildly in my chest as I watched the doors at the end of the aisle open and Sydney and Adrain, then Mia and Eddie came down, followed by Lissa and Christian, their tuxs matched Mases and the deep red ties matched the colour of the bridesmaids long flowing gowns. They were beautiful... But nothing compared to the beauty coming down behind them.

My breathing caught in my throat and I had to stop my hands from shaking. Roza.

She was absolutely stunning.

Her hair was down in soft curls, delicately placed over her shoulders and streaming down her back, their were small white flowers placed in her hair and her eyes were shining a deep golden brown.

The dress she wore was creamy white and strapless, accentuating the shape of her bust, gathering underneath before flowing down over her waist and her hips. She walked as gracefully as a dancer, a wide glorious smile on her face as we locked eyes.

For a moment I swear I was dreaming, this couldnt be real, she couldnt be real. Surely I didnt deserve her, I felt as though I was going to wake up any second and it would have all been a lie.

Then her hand found mine. The soft, warm touch of her skin against mine sent that familiar tingle through me, proving that she was real, she was here with me, about to become mine forever.

The ceremony passed in a blur, I followed my lines and the cues from the minister. My heart leapt into my throat as he said the words...

"I know pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride"

I didnt need to be told twice, I wrapped both arms around her waist, pulling her towards me as her arms wrapped around my neck. My lips found hers and it was like the world around us disappeared, it was just me and my wife. My love. My Roza. We were finally together, and nothing would take her from me. This was where I was supposed to be forever.

We were brought back down to earth by the loud eruption of cheers and whistles and clapping from our guests. I grinned at Roza as I lay my forehead against hers, staring directly into her mesmerising brown eyes.

"Im the happiest man on earth, I love you so much Mrs Belikov."

Her answering smile was dazzling, her eyes glinting mischieviously. "I can think of something that may make you happier Mr Belikov..."

I raised one eyebrow as she winked at me, shifting her head so that her lips were right at my ear. "Im pregnant Comrade."


	39. Epilogue

**A/n: hey guys this is the final chapter! I honestly didnt think this story would be this long, but your reviews made me keep writing. I just hope my final few chapters have been acceptable :)**

**Epilogue**

"Marya...Olena...Belikov... Well done Milaya, you spelt it exactly right." I beamed down at the goreous little girl sitting at out coffee table, she was currently trying to spell her own name. It was adorable to watch the little 4 year old concentrating so hard, her eyebrows were drawn down and her lips perced tightly.

"Its so hard daddy, whyd you name me a hard name." she groaned smacking her blue pencil down on the table and giving me her little 'hathaway glare'. I named it that because she picked it up from her mother, she was her exact double.

"try spelling Rosemarie Hathaway missy! Your name is easy peasy compared to that." Rose laughed as she came in through the sliding door of the living room, covered in mud and dirt. Mase trailed in behind her looking worn out and beaten.

I raised my eyebrow at him as Rose went and got changed.

"Never. Ever. Will I call mum a weakling again." he panted as he flopped down on the bar stool. "She kicked my ass."

I just chuckled in response.

The last few years have been the happiest of my life, I didnt think my life would ever be like this.

I had a small white house sitting at the edge of court, a large backyard perfect for extra trainings and playing around. I was married to the most amazing, gorgeous women and we had two amazing kids.

"Whats that grin for Comrade?" Roza asked quietly as she sunk down onto my lap, her arms snaking around my neck as I rested mine around her waist. I held her tightly for a moment as I breathed her sweet, intoxicating scent.

Skimming my nose along the bare skin of her neck, placing a kiss on each of her recently aquired extra molnija marks.

"I love you." I murmured against her skin, causing a shudder to ripple through her.

"Awwwww we love you too daddy!" Mase mocked, his face appearing beside the couch. He laughed maniacally untill my hand shot out and I easily flipped the 10 year old over and onto the couch beside us.

"Mase dont be mean to mummy and daddy. Its not nice. Leave them alone." Marya stood infront of us with her arms crossed, looking very much like a mini guardian already.

Roza held her arms out and Marya jumped straight into them, I shifted so that I didnt have all of their weight on me and so that I could see all three of them.

I couldnt help the loving smile on my face as I watched my family...

My family.

Roza, Mason, Marya. They were my world.

I knew I would give anything for them, I loved them so, so much and I would never leave them, ever again.


End file.
